Not Easy!

It's been more than two weeks since I've written after committing to myself to write every day. I've written some in my journal but I've been resistant to my blog. I haven't had the energy to share the emotions that are residing in my heart now that I've had a chance to rest and reflect. The initial excitement of packing my car and driving away from my life is past and, while I still look forward to new places and adventures to come, I'm struggling with letting go. Letting go of my home, my Love, my old dreams, my work, the roles I've played for so long, has me feeling lost and alone. I'm not feeling brave. My car feels like a life raft in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. This journey of mine, to learn to trust again, is pushing me past old thought patterns. Not easy! I'm finding that adventures through the eyes of grief are not the same as adventures of a heart in love. I'm not ready to rebuild, but life seems to demand answers or some kind of direction. Again I have to give thanks for the many friends and my beautiful daughters who are holding me up through this time. Friends who remind me that I will find my path, that I will love again and I will have a home. Who knew the rebuilding phase would be so challenging? I'll continue seeking grace and joy in each day and each new place...