Stella's ready to roll

Thanks Dave and crew at Big O Tires in Pleasanton for making sure that Stella is good to go on our journey. These guys have been taking care of maintenance, tires and brakes on my cars for 20+ yrs. Not only are they honest and reliable, I always get a carnation when I pick up my car. It makes me smile every time.

And yes, my car is named Stella. I name all my cars. I've had Ramona, Nellie, Pearl, Troll & Hahns da Vaugan to name a few.
So no need to worry about my being lonely out on the road, I have Stella. She was a city car when I bought her but I promised her a new life full of adventure. She gets dirty when we play but she cleans up well.

What's your car's name?

One week and counting...

Leaving in one week. Am I ready??
Working thru Friday and then wrapping up loose ends and packing. I can't believe I'm leaving. After so many years longing to leave, I'm apprehensive to go. I feel like the tiger at the Oakland Zoo. For years I watched that majestic cat walk the fence line of his beautiful enclosure. His environment had all the amenities a tiger could hope for, but still he paced until a deep path was worn around the perimeter. I've often wondered if he would know what to do if granted freedom. Now here I am. I feel like that tiger with the gate to my pen held open and I'm hesitant. Will I know what to do? Will I use this time to create a new life for myself? Will I find the artist buried deep in my soul? Will I heal my wounded heart and grow into the person I long to be?

Cold Feet

They say today is the first day of spring. The trees seem to agree but my toes still think its winter!

Honestly though, the closer I get to my chosen day of departure, the more things here are pulling on me to stay. Mom's not well and needs me, a couple of my dearest friends are up against enormous personal challenges, my cats are freaking out a little and I'm getting caught up in my fears. What if I run out of money? Where will I land when this is all done? What if my mom gets worse? Will my cats be okay? And on like that. What if this doesn't change anything in my life? What if I don't get any answers? What if ...???

Melt down

This past week has been the big push to get my things mostly packed so Jim could move his things in. Jim is my friend who's subleasing my home while I'm away.  He's a great guy and wonderfully patient through this whole process. We've agreed to keep my things in storage here until I get back and I've even got my bed set up in the "guest room".
Never the less, it's been rough. After several weeks of procrastinating, the move was overwhelming at best. (Imagine if I'd had to move out completely !!) Saturday the various piles of boxes and things yet unboxed threatened to consume me. Usually fairly organized, I found myself wandering between rooms accomplishing virtually nothing. Every little thing distracted me. I was having a hard time forming sentences. Fortunately my girlfriend Lynn showed up and in lieu of our date for tea, jumped in and made sense of things. A fellow capricorn and detached from the emotions of my process, she helped me push and shove boxes of books and other treasures across the hall. Thank you Lynn...

Sunday I woke up in my bedroom for the last time. That set the tone. I continued the move in silence, trying to focus on the increadible journey in front of me and the good fortune to have this opportunity. Then I came across yet another card from Mike stashed in some book. I started feeling VERY alone and spiraled down from there. I had truly believed that my next move would be with him, setting up a new home, not wittling down my current existance. I kept moving. The thing that undid me was taking my earring holder off the wall. Why that?? Why would that thing ellicite unrestrained wails? Still I kept moving. The stacked boxes in my new room making it hard to get to the closet. Organizing had become futile. Then Carol called. Thank God Carol called. She wanted to talk. "Come on over, I'm here." By the time she got here I was sitting on the floor, sucking down a cold beer in a puddle of tears (pretty, I know). She grabbed a beer and started working and talking and laughing. A couple of beers and one pizza later, she'd not only tamed the mess of stuff, but had quieted the unteathered emotions of this very weary traveler to be.

Thank God for all my dear friends. Each of you hold a distinct and special place in my heart.

Journey To Ithaca

Thank you Anita for sending this poem.

http://ninaalvarez.net/2007/05/03/poem-of-the-day-49/

Letter from a sister of my heart

Dearest Peg,

I am so excited for you and your new adventures. I have your blog bookmarked and am following it. I am with you as the road opens up.
As you may remember, I spent 13 months traveling back in 2005/2006, and in those 13 months I never spent more than 10 nights in one place at one time. The road kept opening up and new lessons and adventures were ready for me as I began to welcome them in. I had given away all my worldly possessions, shaved my hair, quit my job and had my ticket and a $1000 - somehow it all came through. I trust the same for you.
I am in the midst of my next transition - I am unemployed and studying for my licensing exam. Much as my mind would love to cushion your way with a little financial sustenance, I send you instead, the joy that my adventures have brought me. It is a gift of the heart, far more precious than anything money could buy, and my friend and sister Peg deserves nothing but the best!
I have three suggestions of things that were very handy in my travels, and if you do not already have those, I would like to provision those for your quest. I'm sure you have no intention of traveling without a journal, but if the perfect one has not presented itself yet, I'm up for the challenge. Also, a sarong is such a great travel accessory - part clothing, towel, sun shade, wrap, beach blanket, and so much more. And last but not the least, a flashlight is a must-have.
Please let me know if I can furnish you with any of those for your journey and it would be my honor to do so.
As we often talk about, when any one of us takes a step forward, we are all blessed by that momentum, and so it is, that I am truly excited for the leap that we all take as you trust in the benevolence of the Universe and begin this next phase of your journey.
If you are able to come into the city during this remaining time before you head out, I would be honored to nourish your body with a soulful meal.
Hugs Hugs Hugs
Rajani

Yumi

Here she is, my other beloved, Yumi.
My international kitties came from Japan when their pregnant mama kitty got herself caught in a crate of Toyota parts and shipped to the US. Sumo and Yumi were born in route. How they survived is a mystery, but they're the best cats imaginable.
I'm gonna miss them beyond belief while I'm away, but they get to stay home with my friend who's subletting my place and keep catching small wild creatures and sleeping on my pillows. My friend Jim is a self proclaimed dog guy, but if anyone can woo him in the feline purrsuasion Sumo and Yumi can do it.

Everyday I realize a little more what I'm leaving behind, and everyday my gratitude for my home and friends grows. I saw a bumper sticker last night, "What are you grateful for?"  What a great question to carry in my heart. Sometimes I forget how fortunate I am.




Sumo

 
Next life - I wanna be a cat. Not just any cat. I wanna be one of my cats